How to Not Suck at Motherhood:
Lessons From a Recovering Perfectionist.
A how-to-not manual.
Sue's first book, How to Not Suck at Motherhood: Lessons from a Recovering Perfectionist, was published in February 2024 by Literary Kitchen Collective. Available for purchase online from Literary Kitchen and Ariel Gore Studio.
From the introduction of How to Not Suck at Motherhood:
“In my pre-parent days, I silently criticized moms whose children screamed, yelled, and raced the aisles in the store. In my mind I passed judgment on parents whose kids begged and wheedled for everything because said parents invariably caved and bought anything to pacify them. All I could think was, what a terrible mother! What kind of parent can’t get their kid to behave in public? I’ll never be that kind of mom! I perversely wanted to believe that it was, in fact, possible to do everything “right.”
And then, one day, I was that parent. The mom whose kid screams. Whines. Talks back. The parent whose kids let the dog run loose in the neighborhood. On purpose. The mom who couldn’t do what other moms seemed to do with ease: manage a career, family, and home, stay in shape, and get their kids to birthday parties on time—with the gift. I was sure others knew the truth: I couldn’t measure up. I was an imposter.”
“Sue’s book is an ode to mothering and motherhood, its pitfalls and dreams, hardships and humor, its joy and its impossible standards. It's also an ode to particular kinds of motherhood because she's done different kinds of motherhood–adoptive motherhood and otherwise. Her insights are kind-hearted and generous and vulnerable. Deeply honest.”
– Jenny Forrester, author of Narrow River, Wide Sky: A Memoir, and Soft-Hearted Stories: Seeking Saviors, Cowboy Stylists, and Other Fallacies of Authoritarianism
“Motherhood is a lot of work, with a lot more behind the scenes than others would realize. Motherhood can be about carrying babies, in your body and on the plane coming from adoption; miscarriage, death, school pets, making sense of life, and letting go. Motherhood is about a lot of difficult stuff—your own, and others.’ And it can also be about looking back on a lifetime of stories, ready now to release them—for the first time—in print, gathered together.
There are many different truths for many different women. And all of them need to be shared. Sue Moshofsky is a brilliant writer in the vein of humor-infused, real, nitty-gritty life details, of a woman who really would like to put all these fancy pissing contests behind us.”
– China Martens, author of The Future Generation, coeditor of Don't Leave Your Friends Behind and Revolutionary Mothering: Love on the Front Lines.
“Sue Moshofsky has done it all as a mother—and done it all “wrong.” From miscarriage to international adoption to delivering biological offspring and everything that came after, she shows us how to think deeply about our mothering choices and then let our expectations go. Along the way, the only thing she loses is the only thing we all need to lose: Perfectionism. With humor, poetry, and motherlove, Sue truly shows us how it’s done.”
– Ariel Gore, author of over a dozen books, including We Were Witches, Atlas of the Human Heart, and The Wayward Writer